I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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