does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
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