Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
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Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
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Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
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