i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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