legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Randomize