break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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