My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
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