i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Randomize