Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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