Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Why are your pants in the freezer?
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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