The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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