k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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