i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
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