My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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