You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize