My friends, they love my intelligence
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
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