every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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