Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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