I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
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