we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
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