i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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