Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
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