I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
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i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
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I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
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