I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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