Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize