similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Randomize