I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
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