I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
At least make sure they are 18
Why
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
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