Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Randomize