rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
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im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
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Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
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