haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize