last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
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