You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize