sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
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I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
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It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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