4 words: hood of his car
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
my liver is dry heaving
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
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