you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize