just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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