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  • 59 36
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 18, 09 at 1:57pm

    yes, but water doesn't get you drunk. no one drinks miller light for the taste.

  • 53 34
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 18, 09 at 1:06pm

    LMAO 1:03 well played.....well played I always keep praying that more emo kids will lose to the razor

  • 57 44
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 18, 09 at 12:33pm

    All you're missing is the DVD set of Star Trek and you have yourself a friday night masturbation special!

  • 49 34
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 18, 09 at 3:49pm

    jared brock is a winner at life

  • 54 44
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 18, 09 at 2:57pm

    Haha! I would swear this was my ex - but he lives in 978.

  • 54 47
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 19, 09 at 1:08am

    high life sucks try again tomorrow.

  • 53 45
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 18, 09 at 1:10pm

    Water is cheaper than miller light and tastes about the same, poor move imo

  • 48 39
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 18, 09 at 12:54pm

    the whole "you win life" joke is so stupid i can't stand it

  • 48 41
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 18, 09 at 2:28pm

    This text message seems like it needs a follow-up the next day. Something like, "Woke up naked in a puddle of lube, surrounding by beer cans and microwave dinner trash."

  • 49 44
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 18, 09 at 8:17pm

    sad night, glad I moved from the east bay. I could've had this poor guy for a neighbor.

  • 57 61
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 18, 09 at 1:03pm

    12:54, oh, you'll stand it some more. Life will make sure of that.

  • 43 45
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 18, 09 at 3:46pm

    So this is site is supposed to be about funny drunk texts, right? And yet this shit gets posted- some loser planning his fun-filled night of drinking by himself, eating dinner alone, and the proceeding to jerk off.... HMMMM. For some reason it just doesn't add up.

  • 46 56
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 19, 09 at 2:19am

    why the fuck do all my hilarious texts from the east bay get rejected while this shit gets posted? i swear to god the people on this site want to make the east bay look like its full of idiots

  • 33 57
    Submitted by chrisdomayer on Mar 12, 11 at 4:52am

    Reppin that pleasanton... Too bad it is a terrible text