I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize