I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize