You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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