i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
