It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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