My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize