I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
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