That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
zippers are such a cool invention
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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