I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
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i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.