Texts From Last Night

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(646): View more from New York

We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.

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(646): We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman. http://tfl.nu/a2vv

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(+92): View more from

Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?

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(+92): Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from? http://tfl.nu/pk33

Replies (1) Good night (83) Bad night (53) Order T-Shirt
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(702): View more from Nevada

We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.

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(702): We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly. http://tfl.nu/ykqa

Replies (0) Good night (115) Bad night (39) Order T-Shirt
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(515): View more from Iowa

I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"

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(515): I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone" http://tfl.nu/9mhp

Replies (3) Good night (229) Bad night (68)
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(808): View more from Hawaii

there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women

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(808): there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women http://tfl.nu/4eji

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(817): View more from Texas

Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?

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(817): Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one? http://tfl.nu/bc4f

Replies (3) Good night (146) Bad night (49) Order T-Shirt
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(562): View more from California

I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!

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(562): I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!! http://tfl.nu/mwf9

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(602): View more from Arizona

I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth

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(602): I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth http://tfl.nu/mes3

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(619): View more from California

She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.

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(619): She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it. http://tfl.nu/d8em

Replies (0) Good night (268) Bad night (43) Order T-Shirt
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(330): View more from Ohio

Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.

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(330): Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors. http://tfl.nu/c683

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(502): View more from Kentucky

That shot was terrible

(1-502): View more from Kentucky

You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up

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(502): That shot was terrible (1-502): You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up http://tfl.nu/89cf

Replies (0) Good night (46) Bad night (153) Order T-Shirt
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(330): View more from Ohio

exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.

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(330): exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun. http://tfl.nu/7m4g

Replies (5) Good night (173) Bad night (32) Order T-Shirt
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(732): View more from New Jersey

I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.

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(732): I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened. http://tfl.nu/b4bs

Replies (0) Good night (111) Bad night (48) Order T-Shirt
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(+46): View more from Sweden

Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving

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(+46): Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving http://tfl.nu/pqr1

Replies (3) Good night (365) Bad night (68) Order T-Shirt
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(816): View more from Missouri

It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.

(314): View more from Missouri

The student becomes the teacher.

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(816): It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar. (314): The student becomes the teacher. http://tfl.nu/thu8

Replies (1) Good night (142) Bad night (126)

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