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This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
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