Texts From Last Night

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(601): View more from Mississippi

Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.

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(601): Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm. http://tfl.nu/epij

Replies (0) Good night (3) Bad night (0) Order T-Shirt
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(831): View more from California

He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!

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(831): He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?! http://tfl.nu/h0ux

Replies (3) Good night (16) Bad night (15)
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(706): View more from Georgia

I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.

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(706): I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today. http://tfl.nu/vvd3

Replies (3) Good night (61) Bad night (19) Order T-Shirt
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(636): View more from Missouri

We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.

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(636): We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer. http://tfl.nu/h1wg

Replies (0) Good night (37) Bad night (10) Order T-Shirt
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(602): View more from Arizona

I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.

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(602): I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house. http://tfl.nu/wmzr

Replies (1) Good night (33) Bad night (69) Order T-Shirt
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(248): View more from Michigan

Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..

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(248): Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced.. http://tfl.nu/34jd

Replies (4) Good night (54) Bad night (97) Order T-Shirt
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(541): View more from Oregon

Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.

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(541): Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude. http://tfl.nu/4zcp

Replies (2) Good night (46) Bad night (32) Order T-Shirt
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(585): View more from New York

She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.

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(585): She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me. http://tfl.nu/s5wp

Replies (2) Good night (27) Bad night (67) Order T-Shirt
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(920): View more from Wisconsin

Technically my penis started a fight tonight

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(920): Technically my penis started a fight tonight http://tfl.nu/2ets

Replies (3) Good night (115) Bad night (20) Order T-Shirt
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(313): View more from Michigan

Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...

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(313): Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door... http://tfl.nu/qt3a

Replies (3) Good night (32) Bad night (194) Order T-Shirt
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(720): View more from Colorado

So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.

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(720): So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together. http://tfl.nu/i6go

Replies (3) Good night (187) Bad night (16) Order T-Shirt
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(604): View more from British Columbia

Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday

(1-604): View more from British Columbia

WHY AM I NOT THERE?

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(604): Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday (1-604): WHY AM I NOT THERE? http://tfl.nu/j17k

Replies (1) Good night (174) Bad night (23) Order T-Shirt
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(585): View more from New York

The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.

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(585): The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many. http://tfl.nu/e659

Replies (1) Good night (193) Bad night (41) Order T-Shirt
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(917): View more from New York City

bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.

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(917): bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was. http://tfl.nu/th2f

Replies (2) Good night (325) Bad night (38) Order T-Shirt
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(707): View more from California

Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!

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(707): Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital! http://tfl.nu/x7o2

Replies (2) Good night (166) Bad night (43) Order T-Shirt

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