Texts From Last Night

jlp88's Favorites Texts:

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  (601): View more from Mississippi

  I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.

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  (601): I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it. http://tfl.nu/j6vg
  Replies (16) Good night (931) Bad night (1935) Order T-Shirt
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  (778): View more from British Columbia

  we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"

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  (778): we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go" http://tfl.nu/uvr2
  Replies (3) Good night (3177) Bad night (702)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?

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  (814): So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club? http://tfl.nu/yeac
  Replies (10) Good night (3326) Bad night (1006) Order T-Shirt
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  (520): View more from Arizona

  You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.

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  (520): You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night. http://tfl.nu/u2mc
  Replies (12) Good night (1992) Bad night (783) Order T-Shirt
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  (857): View more from Massachusetts

  You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.

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  (857): You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks. http://tfl.nu/io5n
  Replies (10) Good night (3159) Bad night (683) Order T-Shirt
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  (360): View more from Washington

  Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.

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  (360): Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name. http://tfl.nu/xkiq
  Replies (22) Good night (4121) Bad night (788) Order T-Shirt
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?

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  (513): Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket? http://tfl.nu/gja3
  Replies (14) Good night (1261) Bad night (4421) Order T-Shirt
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.

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  (902): I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying. http://tfl.nu/q9vl
  Replies (14) Good night (4280) Bad night (822) Order T-Shirt
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony

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  (804): Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony http://tfl.nu/wi0z
  Replies (13) Good night (2672) Bad night (1078) Order T-Shirt
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?

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  (847): He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people? http://tfl.nu/g8mb
  Replies (15) Good night (4876) Bad night (1273) Order T-Shirt
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?

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  (440): vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night? http://tfl.nu/3xi4
  Replies (10) Good night (866) Bad night (2544)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.

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  (401): I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type. http://tfl.nu/97ap
  Replies (4) Good night (2328) Bad night (800) Order T-Shirt
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.

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  (732): It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes. http://tfl.nu/jz1i
  Replies (11) Good night (797) Bad night (2730) Order T-Shirt
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?

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  (734): How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together? http://tfl.nu/es97
  Replies (64) Good night (1370) Bad night (4498)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.

  (1-406): View more from Montana

  haha i know

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  (406): i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt. (1-406): haha i know http://tfl.nu/vo1w
  Replies (21) Good night (7490) Bad night (985) Order T-Shirt
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!

  (1-248): View more from Michigan

  What does that mean?

  (248): View more from Michigan

  How when the cu k dos I yet u

  (1-248): View more from Michigan

  Focus

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  (248): fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!! (1-248): What does that mean? (248): How when the cu k dos I yet u (1-248): Focus http://tfl.nu/kvgv
  Replies (13) Good night (1712) Bad night (523)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.

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  (817): I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy. http://tfl.nu/amvl
  Replies (13) Good night (808) Bad night (3940) Order T-Shirt
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.

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  (515): trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point. http://tfl.nu/fff7
  Replies (19) Good night (2394) Bad night (938) Order T-Shirt