Texts From Last Night

ajohanse's Favorites Texts:

Sort By: Date Favorited / Date Posted / Good Night / Bad Night

• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.

  (720): View more from Colorado

  ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...

  (917): View more from New York City

  no it doesn't.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (917): you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere. (720): ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning... (917): no it doesn't. http://tfl.nu/6x89
  Replies (34) Good night (18236) Bad night (1194)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (402): he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now? http://tfl.nu/i3gk
  Replies (23) Good night (870) Bad night (7910) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (651): I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated" http://tfl.nu/zfhg
  Replies (29) Good night (1477) Bad night (8607) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (954): View more from Florida

  I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (954): I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza http://tfl.nu/fivz
  Replies (53) Good night (26188) Bad night (1834)
• Favorite

  (502): View more from Kentucky

  I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (502): I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control http://tfl.nu/izk5
  Replies (46) Good night (706) Bad night (8263) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole

  (425): View more from Washington

  There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (206): I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole (425): There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian http://tfl.nu/pttl
  Replies (98) Good night (2343) Bad night (23714)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (610): you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask http://tfl.nu/pl36
  Replies (31) Good night (9721) Bad night (744) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (503): So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk. http://tfl.nu/hko9
  Replies (24) Good night (861) Bad night (5500) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (208): View more from Idaho

  U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (208): U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!" http://tfl.nu/ttkj
  Replies (99) Good night (26326) Bad night (1188) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (864): View more from South Carolina

  So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (864): So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life" http://tfl.nu/u5wp
  Replies (175) Good night (51785) Bad night (5726)